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Assorted Limericks

I recently obtained a book of limericks by Edward Lear and was inspired to write a few of my own.

There once was a merchant of Venice
Who persuaded his wife to play tennis.
So they rallied and served
Till his wife came unnerved
And beat up a poor ball boy named Dennis.

There once was a sailor named Carey
Who was asked if his head was quite hairy.
So he hummed and he hawled
TIll his head was quite bald
And he finally answered, “Not very!”

There once were two soldiers named Gershom
Who found their dual names to be irksome.
So a wager was made
Where the winner became Slade,
And the loser, he kept the name Gershom.

A man with a ten-gallon hat
Set to ride till his chapeau was flat.
So he rode ’neath his horse
And that fixed it, of course.
It increased to twelve gallons like that.

There once was a fellow named Clark
Whose appendages glowed in the dark.
“Hang the darkness!” said he,
So he dove in the sea
And was promptly devoured by a shark.

Another young person named Clark
Claimed to travel much faster than dark,
And he shut off the light,
Which removed him from sight
And he said, “I just ran ’round the park!”

 
Book Publishing Options in 2010

In early 2010 I entered a story in the Writing for Children Competition put on by the Writers Union of Canada.The entry deadline was April 24 but they still have not finished judging the entries. Winning the competition would make it very easy to get published, but I've been wondering what I should do if I don't get “recognised” from the contest.

There could be a couple reasons if I don't have success in the competition:

  • the book sucks
  • the book has different merits than what they are looking for
  • hey maybe those are both the same thing, I dunno
Read more...
 
Distracted by Media

I was reading Brave New World Revisited by Aldous Huxley yesterday and came across these sentences:

Only the vigilant can maintain their liberties, and only those who are constantly and intelligently on the spot can hope to govern themselves effectively by democratic procedures. A society, most of whose members spend a great part of their time, not on the spot, not here and now and in the calculable future, but somewhere else, in the irrelevant other worlds of sport and soap opera, of mythology and metaphysical fantasy, will find it hard to resist the encroachments of those who would manipulate and control it.

Read more...
 
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Today's Headlines
Headlines courtesy of Theophiles.org
  • The Unreported Global War on Christians
    At The Daily Beast:

    We hear so often about Muslims as victims of abuse in the West and combatants in the Arab Spring fight against tyranny. But, in fact, a wholly different kind of war is underway, an unrecognized battle costing thousands of lives. Christians are being killed in the Islamic world because of their religion. It is a rising genocide that ought to provoke global alarm.

    The portrayal of Muslims as victims or heroes is at best partially accurate. In recent years the violent oppression of Christian minorities has become the norm in Muslim-majority nations stretching from West Africa and the Middle East to South Asia and Oceania. In some countries it is governments and their agents that have burned churches and imprisoned parishioners. In others, rebel groups and vigilantes have taken matters into their own hands, murdering Christians and driving them from regions where their roots go back centuries.

  • Study: Polygamy Bad for Society
    From the University of British Columbia:

    In cultures that permit men to take multiple wives, the intra-sexual competition that occurs causes greater levels of crime, violence, poverty and gender inequality than in societies that institutionalize and practice monogamous marriage.

    That is a key finding of a new University of British Columbia-led study that explores the global rise of monogamous marriage as a dominant cultural institution. The study suggests that institutionalized monogamous marriage is rapidly replacing polygamy because it has lower levels of inherent social problems.

  • Catholics hear anti-Obama letter in church
    At CBS News:

    During church services on Sunday, Catholics around the country were read a blistering letter assailing the Obama administration for an "assault on religious liberty" in the form of a coming requirement that most church-linked organizations - among them hospitals, schools and universities - offer birth control coverage as part of their health care plans.

  • Scholar emphasizes New Testament's Jewish roots
    At USA Today:

    Sometime in the next few weeks, Rabbi Kliel Rose of West End Synagogue in Nashville hopes to pick up a copy of the New Testament and learn a little more about Jesus.

    Rose, like many Jews, has viewed the Christian scriptures with some suspicion in the past. The New Testament is not always flattering to Jews, plus it's been used in unwelcome attempts at conversion.

    He hopes the new Jewish Annotated New Testament will make his task a bit more enjoyable.

  • Evolution: The Rise of Complexity
    At Scientific American:
    It?s a big step for evolution, going from a single cell focused solely on its own survival to a multicellular organism where cells coordinate and work together. Creationists often cite this jump as evidence of God?s influence, because it seems impossible that creatures could make such a brazen leap unaided. But scientists have shown that multicellularity can arise in the lab, given strong enough selective pressure.